A depressed writer who has spent most of the money he earned from his first book...
That title was taken from a description from a movie playing on cable today (The Dog Problem). The film itself appears somewhat forgettable, but the title may serve a purpose in this blog.
A depressed writer? Isn’t that statement alone redundant in nature.
So, what is a depressed writer? Certainly not a writer who has been “successful” enough to sell some of his work, perhaps in the form of a novel. Would that writer have realized one of his greatest dreams: the selling (to a publishing firm and the public) of his work(s)? And would that goal make him more happy, more self-actualized, and not depressed?
I suppose the same could be said about a musician, or a photographer, or an artist. Or any number of artist endeavor based professions. You know, those right-brain type intellects; right-brain meaning random, holistic synthesizing, subjective thinking human beings. Versus left-brain type intellects; meaning logical sequential, rational, analytical, objective thinking human beings.
How about a writer/photographer/artist who embraces the left side of his brain as much as the right side of his brain, ie, he loves the logical, planned, analytical, mathematic side of life just as much as the sentimental, sunset-loving, spontaneous, what-is-the-meaning-of-life side of his brain?
A depressed writer? Isn’t that redundant (adj, exceeding what is necessary or normal; serving as a duplicate). In the same category as in tuna fish, lower down, raise up, big giant, or any number of other pleonasms* we use on an almost daily basis.
So, if you ever meet a writer who is not depressed (clinically or otherwise), how about more precisely describing him as a happy or non-depressed writer? Which, now, would be a term that could be considered an oxymoron (adj; figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms). Now, we may, indeed, have found an example of a conundrum.
Conundrum: verb; a paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem.
I feel I am more of a conudrum than an oxymoron. Emphasis on moron (verb; disused psychological term for a person with a mental age between 8 and 12, slang for a stupid person).
I prefer to consider myself ignorant versus moronic. Ignorant: adj; without knowledge, sophistication, or, at times, intelligence. An ignorant, moronic, depressed writer/photographer who has never been able to afford therapy.
I may have simply made some poor choices in life. But at this point in time, I’m quite comfortable with it all, et al...as well my future prospects...despite it all.
*pleonasm: verb; the use of more words (or even word parts) than necessary to express an idea clearly. Kind of like this blog!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Is phlegm nutritious? And other questions to ponder this new year.
Haven't written anything for a while. Don't care! Oh, shit! I'll admit it...I do care.
With the passing from 2008 to 2009, it seems a good time to at least ponder what this means to me. No matter how hard I try to ignore the importance or non-importance of January 1st compared to any other date during the year, I'll always be destined to dredge up fresh platitudes about new beginnings, past failures, and other nostalgic sentimentalisms. First and foremost in my thoughts: what the hell happened in 2008!
So much of what transpired last year I wish to forget. Let's face it, it wasn't the greatest year for most of us. At the very least, it was somewhat scary as well as historical. A rowdy, over-blown presidential election and the choosing of a new leader who promises real change (for the better) this time. The fall of an already crumbling, precarious economy and roller coaster stock market ride. The disgraceful gouging of gas prices followed immediately by a severe record drop in price after the demand went down (duh...do ya' think?). All of the previous keeping the media in a town crier feeding frenzy mode on a daily basis. I'm back to watching the 5:00 0'clock TV news for the first 2 minutes again. When the lead story is about some woman who has been keeping 175 cats in her house, I switch back to the Travel Channel to see if Kirsten Gum's program is on (Cash and Treasures...and, yes, she's smokin' hot).
The news media is now obsessed with the upcoming inauguration, punctuated with a couple Afghanistan and Gaza feeds plus a daily dose of the who-gives-a-rat's-ass story of the year What Will You Do After The Digital Conversion? Our "local" Sacramento TV stations even post a countdown clock every time they run a story about this during every newscast. "Only 39 days, 14 hours, 3 minutes, and 17 seconds left until your rabbit ears won't work any longer!!! Find out what you can do about it tonight at 11:00". Anyone who cares about watching television and is still using rabbit ears or an antenna screwed to their roof needs to sell their moonshine still and get a dish or something similar.
For us (Loretta and me), 2008 could be considered the worst year since we've been together (13 years). Not because we had problems or issues with our relationship mind you. But because of the some of the changes we incurred in our life: losing a job, losing a house, losing a longtime best friend (not by death, but lost nonetheless), just to name a few. Those first two loses are just things, possessions, and have since been replaced. The last one...not quite as easy to replicate.
Yes, last year will be one we may talk about for a while. Or maybe it's best to let dead dog's lie. And since I'm quite the (day)dreamer, I should prefer to think about what is in store for us this new year, 2009. Unlike in years past, I didn't make any New Year's resolutions...at least not publicly. I have certainly set some new goals for myself and for Loretta and I as a couple. All of which, by the way, are health and personal in nature, not financial or possession-oriented.
Last year wasn't a great year in my life...save for one, huge, gigantic, epic ray of silver lining light. Jenifer gave birth to her and Roth's first baby and my first grandchild. Rowan James Gonzales was born a couple weeks early on December 17th. Had he come into this world as scheduled, the first week of January, 2008 would have been a total loss on the plus side. I'll thank Rowan personally some day for jumping the gun and what his (early) appearance meant to me.
I closed out 2008 with several weeks of a nasty cold/bronchitis malady that we haven't quite identified and I have not yet totally said goodbye to. It lingers a bit to this day, but is waning as each day goes by. I still have the cough at times as well as that persistent phlegm. Which leads me to the question, "Is phlegm nutritious?" If it is, I should be experiencing some sort of benefit from it. Evidently it isn't. At least I haven't found anything to suggest that it is by Googling that question. Besides, there are other questions for this new year much more profound and pertinent that I must ponder. And ponder them I will, but without much intensity or over-thinking. I reveal one of my resolutions by saying that. Less stress, more fun.
I'll close this one with a quote from one my favorite philosophers, Foghorn Leghorn.
"I say...I better not look...I just might be in there!"
With the passing from 2008 to 2009, it seems a good time to at least ponder what this means to me. No matter how hard I try to ignore the importance or non-importance of January 1st compared to any other date during the year, I'll always be destined to dredge up fresh platitudes about new beginnings, past failures, and other nostalgic sentimentalisms. First and foremost in my thoughts: what the hell happened in 2008!
So much of what transpired last year I wish to forget. Let's face it, it wasn't the greatest year for most of us. At the very least, it was somewhat scary as well as historical. A rowdy, over-blown presidential election and the choosing of a new leader who promises real change (for the better) this time. The fall of an already crumbling, precarious economy and roller coaster stock market ride. The disgraceful gouging of gas prices followed immediately by a severe record drop in price after the demand went down (duh...do ya' think?). All of the previous keeping the media in a town crier feeding frenzy mode on a daily basis. I'm back to watching the 5:00 0'clock TV news for the first 2 minutes again. When the lead story is about some woman who has been keeping 175 cats in her house, I switch back to the Travel Channel to see if Kirsten Gum's program is on (Cash and Treasures...and, yes, she's smokin' hot).
The news media is now obsessed with the upcoming inauguration, punctuated with a couple Afghanistan and Gaza feeds plus a daily dose of the who-gives-a-rat's-ass story of the year What Will You Do After The Digital Conversion? Our "local" Sacramento TV stations even post a countdown clock every time they run a story about this during every newscast. "Only 39 days, 14 hours, 3 minutes, and 17 seconds left until your rabbit ears won't work any longer!!! Find out what you can do about it tonight at 11:00". Anyone who cares about watching television and is still using rabbit ears or an antenna screwed to their roof needs to sell their moonshine still and get a dish or something similar.
For us (Loretta and me), 2008 could be considered the worst year since we've been together (13 years). Not because we had problems or issues with our relationship mind you. But because of the some of the changes we incurred in our life: losing a job, losing a house, losing a longtime best friend (not by death, but lost nonetheless), just to name a few. Those first two loses are just things, possessions, and have since been replaced. The last one...not quite as easy to replicate.
Yes, last year will be one we may talk about for a while. Or maybe it's best to let dead dog's lie. And since I'm quite the (day)dreamer, I should prefer to think about what is in store for us this new year, 2009. Unlike in years past, I didn't make any New Year's resolutions...at least not publicly. I have certainly set some new goals for myself and for Loretta and I as a couple. All of which, by the way, are health and personal in nature, not financial or possession-oriented.
Last year wasn't a great year in my life...save for one, huge, gigantic, epic ray of silver lining light. Jenifer gave birth to her and Roth's first baby and my first grandchild. Rowan James Gonzales was born a couple weeks early on December 17th. Had he come into this world as scheduled, the first week of January, 2008 would have been a total loss on the plus side. I'll thank Rowan personally some day for jumping the gun and what his (early) appearance meant to me.
I closed out 2008 with several weeks of a nasty cold/bronchitis malady that we haven't quite identified and I have not yet totally said goodbye to. It lingers a bit to this day, but is waning as each day goes by. I still have the cough at times as well as that persistent phlegm. Which leads me to the question, "Is phlegm nutritious?" If it is, I should be experiencing some sort of benefit from it. Evidently it isn't. At least I haven't found anything to suggest that it is by Googling that question. Besides, there are other questions for this new year much more profound and pertinent that I must ponder. And ponder them I will, but without much intensity or over-thinking. I reveal one of my resolutions by saying that. Less stress, more fun.
I'll close this one with a quote from one my favorite philosophers, Foghorn Leghorn.
"I say...I better not look...I just might be in there!"
Thursday, January 8, 2009
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Yours truly
So what's your story?
