Idol time on my hands

I find it interesting, if not disturbing, that I look forward to Tuesday night television. I look forward to Tuesday night television almost as much as I look forward to Wednesday night television.

Used to be that Lost was on Wednesday nights....wasn't it? I've completely lost my interest in that disjointed, confusing, and contrived fantasy/sci-fi/mystery/survivor soap opera filmed a few hundred yards from Oahu tourist resorts. So now, Wednesdays (and Tuesdays) I'm planted in front of the plasma device tuned to Fox. Yes, I have become a reluctant (and embarrassing to admit) fair-weather fan of American Idol.

I think the affection (or should I say infection) for and/or caused by A.I. began last season with that whole Sanjiyah (sp?) thing. My wife Loretta and I just couldn't turn away from watching the weekly train wreck over and over again. We could not wait to see what silly hair style he sported while singing inane, whimpy versions of pop hits. At least he was finally voted off near the end, and at least Jordin Sparks finished on top. Whew! What a relief!

This season, albeit quite dissimilar in talent from last season, is no less perplexing to watch. This season's Sanjiyah is that David Castro guy. There's no way he will win, but why is he still there when the Australian guy got the boot already? They finally axed Kristy Lee Cook last week. She's not a bad singer, she's just not a great singer. How about the whiney, hobbit-like little kid with the decent voice (David Archeleta)? Looks like he's on the verge of crying all the time. Good voice? Yes. Dynamic performer? No way.

I must admit that I have a slight crush on Brooke White. Her Faith Hill resemblance could be the blame for that. Not a great singer though, and, she comes off a bit snotty at times during the critique period.

Anyway, I'm not going to run down the entire list of A.I. survivors to this point. And my point is that David Cook is the obvious front-runner and will probably win (if he doesn't have a cardiac event before the show ends).

The bigger point to make is my morbid interest in watching American Idol at all! As I said, it is quite disturbing. I should be watching any number of thriller/slasher/mystery flicks continually replaying on cable. Or trimming my toenails. Or surfing eBay. Or jogging. But, I defer the use of the wide screen and surround sound to my wife's obsession with A.I. I must also admit that I go on line at the start of Wednesday's results show and find out who gets booted. Of course, I never tell Loretta...I value my marriage more than that. I just can't stand surprises! Yet, that is where I will be tonight (Tuesday) and tomorrow night (Wednesday). Watching the less-than-stellar performances of star-wannabes. Then listening to painfully repetitous critiques from (Yo...dog...check it out! A little pitchy at times....) Randy, (I...I...I...just know you're gonna be a star) Paula, and (Brooke, it was kind of like a hamburger with no meat) Simon (cue the boos).

Maybe the saddest statement of all is that I am not alone. Each week, I discover more and more people, my age and younger, watch this show. And that doesn't include the closet American Idol fans. Of which, I am sure there are millions! Maybe billions. Perhaps the first couple of seasons are now reaching distant galaxies and is being watched by aliens.

Don't even get me started on Ryan Seacrest. What a talent-less robot? But, he's laughing all the way to bank. And I'm writing a blog on an old iBook, selling shit on eBay, and thinking about trimming my toenails now so I won't miss American Idol tonight.

Wait a minute! American Psycho is on at the same time. Now what do I do?