The Self-Help Explosion: What color of grass will make you happy?

Looks like it’s time for another blog about the Space Time Continuum, the Future, the Power of Positive Thinking, and Snake Oil Salesman (aka Marketing).

There was a vignette on the CBS Morning News about a little New York town called Pawling. Apparently this town has more than its share of happy, content people. It was also the home of Norman Vincent Peale. You may remember him as the author of The Power of Positive Thinking. Ah...that’s the connection with the happy content people! And, so the CBS news vignette's angle became painfully evident.

This story wasn’t solely about how Pawling is a happy little New England town...it equally focused on the business of “positive thinking”. And the business of “positive thinking” is big business.

We all know that book stores are now, more than ever before, crammed with self-help books. In fact (this was a bit disturbing), there are over 3000 new self-help/positive thinking books published every year in this country! Billions of dollars are spent every year (almost $10 billion) by people like you and me in hopes of “fixing” ourselves versus seeking out professional help. And here’s the expected response from the professional psychology sector...”This is all akin to modern-day snake oil salesmen!” The critics of this self-help trend claim that we are all simply slapping down our hard-earned dollars down for a bottle of worthless elixir. An elixir of watered down liquid, in book form, that sometimes actually promises to cure our ills.

The fact of the matter is, all of these books are re-packaged forms of the same basic claim: “If you think it...it will happen”...”If you want to be happy...you will”...”If you want to find a better life, mate, or parking space...you will”...”Surround yourself with positive
people...and...ah, you’ll be surrounded by other people just like you who are looking to surround themselves with positive people?”

The latest, most fashionable incarnation of Norman Vincent Peale’s teachings (The Power of Positive Thinking was published over 50 years ago) is The Secret: The Laws of Attraction. I haven’t personally purchased this book yet, but I have read as much about it as I can without actually plopping down the scratch for this overpriced elixir. Far be it from me to say that this, or any other self-help claim, will not work for you. I happen to subscribe to the notion that hanging out with bummed out people can be depressing and counter productive. Referring to an old Woody Allen joke, “I wouldn’t want to be a member of a club that had me for a member”. Of course, he has made quite a handsome living out of being depressed...along with many other comedians past and present. Laughing at other’s misfortunes has always been popular. But, I think it goes deeper than just standing on the sidelines and laughing at a train wreck. It’s all about commiseration.

My take on the self-help boom? We all need to feel that we are not alone in our misery. We all have a strong desire to commiserate with other people about our own issues and life challenges. The Secret takes it one step further by suggesting that you hang out with people who are positive thinking (and successful). “Successful”, by the way, could mean that these other people are simply happy with their own self...comfortable in their own skin so to speak. One of the problems with most of these books is that the unsuspecting public’s perception is all too often geared to the “money” part of success. In other words, if I buy this book...I will get more money. Sure we all want to be happy. But what makes people happy? That is the subjective part of this whole trend...and one of the reasons why some psychology professionals tend to “poo poo” these books...and now DVD’s.

Getting back to my reference to the Space Time Continuum and the Future. You can’t change the Future! Not because the Future is set in stone...but because the Future is NOT set in stone. Despite being a huge fan of books and movies about the Future, ie, Back to the Future and (the father of time travel books) H.G. Wells, The Time Machine...those premises will never happen. We ain’t gonna travel to the future with notions of changing it. But we can control what happens in the Future. We can’t control everything that is going to happen tomorrow, but we can influence it. And herein lies the attraction of these self-help books and how they do indeed have some merit. These books provide us with Hope. Yup...it is simply a matter of Hope. But the books have replaced the word Hope with the word Wish. If we “Wish” it...it will happen.

Self-help books are not things being hawked out of the back of a horse-drawn wagon any longer. They are not a bottle of ginger water and alcohol any more. They are the modern day version of the Genie in a Bottle...Alladin’s Lamp...the Blarney Stone...the Leprechaun with the Pot-o-Gold. They are the Wishmasters of our generation.

I have friends who will write me with a reminder that the only true Genie was born two thousand and seven years ago. That the key to true happiness can’t be found at Barnes & Noble for $29.95. So be it. Whatever works for you...do it.

I read the Power of Positive Thinking many years ago. Along with many, many books in this genre including including ones by Tony Robbins, Dale Carnegie, Benjamin Franklin, and others. They all have something to offer someone. They all have the power to motivate in one way or another. But the key for any self-help medium to be successful is that the individual reader must answer this question: What will make me happy? It’s not enough to just ask the question, you must answer it accurately and truthfully. And that, my friends, is the biggest challenge.

If you really know what will make “self” happy and content...then any one of these 3000 self-help books published every year will work for you. You can set all the goals and make all the lists you want. But if you don’t know what is really important to your happiness...no fancy-marketed, trendy, Oprah-supported self-help plan will ever get you where you want to go. That step in the process is critical.

I can’t help but be reminded of the statement offered to me by so many people over the years though. And that little gem of wisdom is, “Be careful of what you wish for. It just may come true”.

And coming from someone who’s wishes have come true many times, here is another nugget I always add. “The grass is always greener. Just be sure that green grass is what you want!”