I aspire

As I was driving home from work today, I passed by a new flag-like banner hanging on a pole near the elementary school in our neighborhood. The flag had a drawing of a Cougar (the chosen name for attendees at that school)...and the word aspire right below it. This siting prompted me to recall a few moments in time from my last year in elementary school, Welby Way Elementary School in Canoga Park.

I was part of the inaugural 6th grade class of this newly built school in our neighborhood. We were the first! I was bounced around to 5 or 6 different schools from kindagarden through the fifth grade because of our family's moving, and because they kept switching the boundaries in the west end of the San Fernando Valley (due to the fast growth in the late fifties). No big deal. At that age, you adjust much easier to location changes than when you are older.

Our school held a vote as to what we should call the attendees of Welby Way Elementary School. The overwhelming choice by the students was the Telestars. Telestar was the first communication satellite; recently launched into orbit in 1960. Why not? That sounded so cool to a bunch of 10 year olds! But wait...there was a fly in this historical ointment. Some of teachers pointed out that Telestar would mean nothing to most people 60 years in the future. We should name ourselves...The Comets. Everyone knows what a Comet is!

One day in class, I overheard a conversation between our teacher, Mrs. Simpson, and another teacher, Mr. Horowitz who had just "dropped by for a visit". I found myself standing right behind them when this exchange took place...(they didn't see me standing there)...

Mr. Horowitz: Hello, Janice! (he proclaimed while sidling up behind her while she was pinning some suggested school names on the cork board).

Mrs. Simpson: Oh! I didn't see you standing there, Mr Horowitz, you startled me.

Mr. Horowitz: You didn't see me? Well, can you feel me standing here (sidling up much closer to Mrs Simpson from behind).

Mrs. Simpson: Mr. Horowitz, what is that in your pocket?

Mr. Horowitz: Well, Janice...how about we call the kids from Welby Way Elementary...the Rockets? Can you feel the rocket in my pocket, Janice?

Mrs. Simpson: Jack! How avant garde!

Just then they both noticed ten year old Jimmy (that's me, standing behind them), and abruptly separated. Mr. Horowitz adjusted his bow tie and mopped his brow with his handkerchief. Mrs. Horowitz straightened her full, crenalin skirt and patted her bee hive hairdo.

Mrs. Simpson: Yes, Jimmy, what can I do for you? (She asked me with a deer-in-the-headlights startled look).

Me: Is that your husband, Mrs. Simpson? My Dad says things like that to my Mom sometimes. And she says, "Oh, Jim...the children...the children". Then, they go in the bedroom for a while and close the door.

Mrs. Simpson: Jimmy. Please take your seat.

Despite repeated requests from several faculty members for consideration of a more time-worthy name (including the Telestars...and the Comets)...we, the attendees of Welby Way Elementary School, were forever named...The Telestars on October 15, 1960. This despite protests from a couple of philandering teachers.

What does this have to do with the title I aspire? Here's what I think. The students of this elementary school in our neighborhood probably voted for mottos like the Living on a Prayer, or Ah'ight!, or Be The Man, or...whatever was hip and cool at the time. It appears the faculty (and PTA) won out on this one. Ask a 10 year old what aspire means, and he or she may answer, "It's what my cousin Billy stole from the mall parking lot what sent him to the slammer!" Or, "It's what my Dad does when Mom catches him surfing the internet in the middle of the night...he aspires all over his wife beater undershirt".

Granted, aspire is quite an inspiring word for an elementary school motto. The definition of aspire is: To have a great ambition or ultimate goal; desire strongly: aspired to stardom. To strive toward an end: aspiring to great knowledge. To soar. Wow! I love this word. But for elementary school kids? C'mon...give 'em a break. How about mottos like, "Be Happy", or "Strive for perfection and settle for excellence", or, "Try not to fuck up!" Now these are motivating mottos for little kids. Basic. Primal. Only slightly intimidating.

It wasn't until a number of years later that I found out what avant garde meant. I figured at the time it had something to do with that obvious bulge in Mr. Horowitz's droopy searsucker slacks...and it wasn't his lunch banana...or, a rocket.

When are adults ever gonna learn? Kid have wisdom well beyond their years.