I used to love Summer, when I didn't sweat so much!

I can't remember when I began to sweat like a farm animal the moment temperatures reached 80 degrees. Did I profusely perspire as a child and just didn't notice it? Was it when the ratio of fat content to muscle mass in my body reached 50/50?

Isn't the function of perspiration to cool the body down? Should I take a cue from boudoine people and start wearing long, white robes and head gear and drink hot tea when the temperature reaches 100? Evidently, this helps cool you off. Maybe I just need to move to a less arid climate zone. Or, lose about 50 pounds. Do skinny people sweat to the extent that their clothes look like they've been running through the sprinklers? Isn't this fop sweating a genetic trait? Do I need to see a doctor for this as well?

I sweat at work inside the 76 degree, air conditioned atmosphere of the restaurant I work. What's up with that? Truthfully, I only start dripping when I have to exert myself physically, ie, putting a food or liquor order away, running back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room at break-neck speed, eating my lunch, speaking. But should I be soaking wet within five minutes? What if I had to work outside? Would I die the first day as a carpenter? The moment I get home from work, I strip down to my undershirt and boxers. I tried taking everything off once, but Loretta nixed that. She didn't want me to stain the furniture with sweat or "skid marks"...not to mention having to look at me sprawled on the couch naked!

I ask myself these (and other goofy questions) quite often. I wonder about this sweating thing as I type this blog entry at 8:00 am when the temperature outside and inside is 72 degrees, and my T-shirt is ringed with sweat...right now! Loretta lovingly (and laughingly) quips, "Honey, you're already sweating like a pig!" "Thank you, again, for pointing that out honey-bunny", I acknowledge.

I always harken back to that scene in Broadcast News when Albert Brooks got a chance to anchor the weekend network news. The poor slob began drip-sweating the moment he sat in the chair. It was running out of his hair, down his face, dripping off his lips onto the news copy. People called in to the television station wondering if he was having a heart attack. It was a hilarious scene...except when it happened to you (me) in real life!

I must say, that never happened to me when I was on the air in radio...fifteen years of daily, live radio shows. I guess that was where I felt most comfortable. Maybe I need to take that as a cue to what I am doing for work right now.

Someone once said, "Never let 'em see you sweat." And I never did in radio, even outside during live remotes. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate my career (again). Maybe it's just time to lose that errant fifty pounds of fat I've accumulated!

One more question: Do farm animals actually sweat?