Reunion anxiety

With just over a week to go until my high school reunion (40 years), I have begun to feel a bit anxious. Not as in “Gee, I can’t wait to go”. But as in “Gee, what’s up with this paranoid anxiety? What if no one remembers me? What if they *still* think I’m a dork? What if it’s not as fun as I anticipate?”

For weeks leading up to my 20th reunion fifteen years ago, I had the same feelings. I even had weird dreams about the reunion itself. One dream in particular was quite bizarre. During a fire at the hotel in which we were staying, I actually “saved” a couple of classmates by carrying them down the stairs and out of the hotel. The bizarre part was, I found myself standing in the middle of the crowd...in my underwear! The other weirdness was that no one knew who I was...despite the heroics. Don't worry, I only had this dream once!

With that in mind, I have pledged to myself that this will be a fun trip, despite the paranoia. After all, I am going to this wing ding with my best friend of 40+ years. And I will be meeting up with another best friend of equal tenure. Safety in numbers? We’ve even offered to host an afternoon Meet & Greet before the reunion itself. Gee, what if no one shows up for that?

My George McFly Feelings of Future Failures are not rampant. In fact, they’re pretty much in check compared with the last two reunions. I just don’t give a shit as much any longer! So what? Who cares? What does it matter? No big deal. It’s just a reunion; a few hours hanging around some regular folk with whom I share a common denominator: high school. All of them there for the same reason.

Sure I have some anxiety, a little paranoia. But at least I’m going! Out of a class of 940, about 50 people are going, somewhat of a modest turnout to say the least. I can only imagine, of the other 890 who aren’t going, of the ones who live near and are able to attend and DON’T go...what are their feelings about it? I can only assume their thoughts, misgivings, anxiety, paranoia, and simple apathy must be worse than mine. They truly don’t give a shit. Not going is their choice to make.

Walking into a room full of people you haven’t seen for over forty years will be an adventure in the Land of Nostalgia. And nostalgia seems to be a hobby of mine. I love it. Reliving memories, good and bad, are a real hoot sometimes...especially when you write about it.

And considering I have also appointed myself as the event photographer, I should come back with a wealth of images to savor and new memories to write about.

And now...I am anxious to go to my reunion again. Anxious as in “Gee, I can’t wait to go!”