What do you say to a naked yoga person?

I try to be open-minded about everything. Though I have not always been this “liberal”, I’ve tried to look for the good in things I used to find strange, weird, unfamiliar, or just plain bizarre. I’m not particularly prejudiced against anything or anyone, except...stupidity. And let’s not confuse stupidity with ignorance. Stupidity is the quality or condition of being stupid, or lacking intelligence...as opposed to being merely ignorant, which is defined as having a lack of knowledge.

As a self-professed, self-taught Jack-of-All-Trades-Master-of-None person, I freely admit that I am ignorant about a lot of things. Nude Yoga is one of them.

I heard this practice mentioned on a morning news/talk show the other day. One of the hosts commented that she wouldn’t ever do that in a public venue because of her fear of getting herpes. First of all...what idiot would do anything sans clothing in public without having some sort of sterile “membrane” between themselves and the surface on which one may find a herpes virus? The female co-host thus confirming her stupidity...and a generous amout of ignorance. Since I am not a fan of Nude Yoga, may I assume that practicioners of this form of the ancient art of yoga (at least in today’s society) provide themselves some sort of personal mat or towel to protect their naughty regions from sharing bodily fluids? Let’s hope so!

Moving on...

Nude or Naked Yoga has been a part of some Eastern cultures for centuries. But it was not until the free-thinking 60’s that it established itself in Western society. For example, the Esalen Institute of California (where this is practiced and taught) was depicted in in the 1968 flick Bob, Carol, Ted, and Alice. Evidently, San Francisco’s gay community also spawned many “institutes” of its own promoting the practice of NudeYoga (not that there is anything wrong with that!).

Obviously, most of us in the American general public are still not as liberal about public nudity as in some European nations. In fact, despite all the outrageousness we are allowed to see on American (network) television...it does not include genitalia or even nipples! Laws concerning public exposure are very similar. We can run around the beach with every inch of our ass hanging out except for that one-square inch area (much larger on some people) that comprises the extreme southern end of our digestive system. Men can display their nipples...women cannot. Is it because men’s nipples have hair on them? If so, should men without hairy nipples keep them covered? Conversely, should women with hairy nipples be able to “let it all hang out”? I’ll pass on that vision...but that’s just me.

So...why shouldn’t we become more open-minded about public nudity in this country? Nudity is not dirty. It is not immoral. And it doesn’t harm anyone...unless, of course, you count herpes-infested Nude Yoga people who don’t bring their own towel or plastic sheets. Also, maybe some people should simply not be allowed to remove all or part of their clothing in public view...causing extreme mental trauma to any nearby gawkers. Sometimes, it’s just too Foo King Ugg Lee for public (or even private) consumption.

Some old geeser (sp?) just got arrested (for the third time) for driving naked. Don’t you think law enforcement officials have better things to do with their time? How many crack heads were holding up convenience stores while these cops were busting this poor old naked gentleman?

I say, let’s loosen up these antiquated public nudity laws for a couple reasons. One: What’s the BFD? Two: Those perverts who expose themselves in public for attention won’t get any more attention. Three: Do you really think that loosening up the laws will bring about a huge influx of people running around naked? C’mon! Are parents afraid of what to tell their children? Remember this old joke?

Little boy: Mommy...look at that naked lady over there.
Mother: Oh my!
Little boy: What’s that thing between her legs?
Mother: Well, son...that’s where someone hit her with a tomahawk.
Little boy: Oh...right in the vagina...huh?

I attempted to make it a bit more P.C. than the original version.