I would like to see more filamentous outgrowth of dead cells from the skin on my head.

Hair. It’s a dead issue. Especially for me and my peers as it has been falling out steadily for about 25 years now!

I’ve always heard that hair is dead. So, I did a little research. And yes, it is indeed dead cells found only in mammals. Hair is actually made up of proteins called keratins. And as indicated in the title of this blog, it sounds kind of gross. But, I will avoid all the technical jargon as this can be found through any manner of internet search...plus, it’s a bit boring, mundane, and doesn’t provide much of a vehicle here for humor or satirical comments. Here’s a hair link for you.

Hair was also a hit musical in the long-hair 60’s. And subsequently, a hit song by the Cowsills..."Gimme a head with hair...long beautiful hair..."

Human hair is styled, combed, brushed, shampooed, blow-dried, teased, curled, flattened, infused, colored, highlighted, streaked, shagged, and shaved. We, as a species, are obsessed by hair. It comes in several natural textures and colors. There is straight, curly, kinky, and downright frizzy hair. Available natural colors are black, brown, red, blonde, and grey. Blonde hair, of course, is available in a multitude of unnatural shades, some of which include dishwater, peroxide, and strawberry.

Insects, by the way, do not have hair. They have insect bristles. Though it appears as I grow older, some of those follicular protrusions have begun to sprout from various orifices on my body *read* ears and nose...to my dismay.

For the semantically obsessed...non-human mammals don’t have hair...that’s called fur.

The hair just above our eyes is there to keep dust and debris out of our peepers. The remainder of these dead keratin strands were placed on various parts of our bodies to provide warmth. Evolution (or divine intervention if you are in that camp) has removed most of the full body hair simply because, due to the advent of clothing, it is not needed as much any longer. And maybe because of global warming...who knows?

Here is another tidbit of hairy trivia. Pubic hair is technically referred to as androgenic hair. I became a bit distracted from my editorial mechanics when I Googled pubic hair and found this Wikipedia page. Check it out. If you don’t think the internet has changed the world...you need to click on the above link! It even describes the various names for different patterns of pubic styling...with detailed photos...including the landing strip and the triangle (tortilla chip) styles! Don’t click on that link if you are sensitive to seeing photos of frontal nudity...humans by the way. If you are under 18...ask your mommy first.

For many of us, gone are the days when maintaining a working blow dryer was a necessity. Performing a self-administered near-shave with a Wahl Pro II and 1/4” attachment is all I require now. In fact, when the weather warms up, yours truly may go back to the Yul Brenner look again, something I preferred for the past 5 years. Grooming this hair “style” simply requires a Gillette Mach3 and a steady hand every other day. I pledged long ago to never participate in that futile subtrifuge known as “augmentation”. And a “comb-over”? Let’s not even go there!

“Don’t ever have to cut it ‘cause it stops by itself” Your hair will never stop growing, even though it is dead. For me, I still have all my hair...it’s just on the inside now.